Many believe that giving is better than receiving. When you give, do you control how it should be used, especially when it is a monetary gift? Do you really give because it is what your heart dictates, or do you just feel obligated? How much should you give? Do you take a survey of how much others will give and then base your own gift accordingly?

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion.

Not long ago, someone gave her gift not directly to the celebrant but to a third party, even though the celebrant was an arm’s length away from the giver. Instructing that third party to add it to the cost of paying the restaurant for the food that fed the visitors.

The celebrant is not an ungrateful person.  However, she was robbed of the chance to initiate offering all the monetary gift she received towards payment of the restaurant bill which she did. She was robbed of the joy, the love and the best wishes of knowing such and such a person took the time to give her gift personally. And she was robbed of the opportunity to thank her giver as she gladly received her gift. 

You see, gifts are like a form of message.  They convey how much the beneficiary is loved. They are a token of the esteem the giver holds towards the recipient. Giving gifts should be delivered with love, care and best wishes. It expresses the giver’s affection towards the celebrant. 

Giving out of obligation and reluctantly is the saddest thing to do. I prefer not to give at all. Giving without care and love is worthless and lacks the delivery of joy and love. Let us avoid giving just for the sake of giving. Giving is not something that is just focused on checking a name off a list. That is such a meaningless and insincere effort.

That celebrant felt offended and wished that the gift had not been given at all. It was an offensive and tactless way of gift giving that was not appreciated at all. The recipient felt the strong message of the gift: it was definitely not from a cheerful giver. The intention of our heart lies within the reason we give. 

I remember an occasion when several visitors who did not give a gift was dealt with harsh judgment and persecution. They were questioned and assumptions were made about them. At one point was being enforced of what should have been, according to their thinking — not factoring the visitor’s financial standing. 

It is a fact that not every occasion requires a gift. The presence of those visitors should have been enough. They took the time and effort in attending. Their attendance says, “I care” a lot better than any gift could ever express. When we receive a gift, how do we treasure and appreciate it? How about the other way around? How much thought and effort do we put on gifts we give? We may give gifts that are not perfect, but our intentions are good and kind. It is always good to remember that it is the thought that counts. Knowing that it is the thought that went into the gift that counts, not the price tag.

One way to develop relationships and show our care for others is the wonderful way of giving. Giving is not just about the gift. It is about the love.