How often have we heard the saying, “if it feels good, it must be good” and the very popular reasoning that, at this age, the number one validation of one’s action is “as long as I’m not hurting anyone, it is okay.”  How convoluted and scary is this belief?

Take for example a young girl who adamantly insists that smoking makes her feel satisfied and that she is harming only herself and no one else. I believe this thinking is twisted and misinformed. Perhaps she is just in total denial of the possible harm to those around her, especially her loved ones she lives with. I remember the trauma of witnessing my best friend, who died at age 45 of lung cancer caused by smoking. Her mother tried to discourage her from smoking. Yes, my friend harmed her own physical body. However, we cannot overlook the times when she went for chemotherapy, radiation and brain surgery to treat the accumulation of fluid in her brain. While she lay unconscious in bed — and right through to her death — she believed smoking harmed only herself. She did not notice the agony her loved ones felt, and she was not there to witness the ongoing pain her loved ones experienced when she died. When she started smoking, because it made her feel good, she didn’t consider that she would one day leave the most precious gift for which she had waited such a long time – the daughter that she finally conceived with great joy after many, many years of waiting. She left her motherless at age four.

Is it safe to think that it’s no one’s business what I do to my body? The bottom line is it’s my body. Who are you to judge me?

People who face the consequences of their actions chalk it up to experience. Experience is a daily part of living. They believe that we only learn through experience. Some even go to the extent of claiming that experience is the best way to remember a mistake. How often have we heard “learn from mistakes.” Do we only learn through experience? Unfortunately, while some mistakes have temporary effects, others have lasting or permanent consequences. A mistake can be a devastating experience to overcome, and often, not an experience that one needs in life.

Lessons can be learned either by direct or indirect experience. As children, we were fortunate enough to have parents who guided us based on their own experiences.  I am talking, of course, about parents who have proven to their children that they love them immeasurably. They share their experience with the hope that the children will take caution in not making the same mistakes. Yes, personal experience is good.  However, learning from the experiences of others should not be ignored. Life is too short to learn everything from personal experience. I recall an article that said “one has to get burned in order to know not to touch the fire.” I disagree. We can certainly learn by observation, instinct and a good sense that what worked for others will work for us. We don’t need to experience certain things. Personal experience is not always necessary. 

The younger generation of this time tends to embrace feeling good and experience as their validation of “if it feels good, it must be right.” Unfortunately, many liberal adults share their thinking. Two justifications seem to validate their action.

Their worldviews tend to lean towards self.   They are where they are because of their skills, experience, knowledge and hard work. God is not a factor.  There are no moral absolutes. Deciding if an action is positive or negative — right or wrong — is not based on anyone’s opinion but on the ultimate authority: God.  The former leads to situational ethics: right or wrong is relative to the situation.  Whatever feels or seems right at the time – is right. That is scary.